Red Fox in Gunnison

So, My sister Trish, Tyler(cash's cousin, and Scott are in Gunnison for a wedding and they saw a huge Red Fox. Cashie is just making sure they are protected and safe as they travel thru Colorado on their vacation.
I love how thoughtful Cashie is. You know Page and I have been talking a lot about having another biological pregnancy. It's really scary, really scary. We have decided to forgo that thought for now and concentrate on adopting. From where I don't know yet.
Thank you all again for your support and love and understanding. Grief is such an long road and I know that there is no way i could feel as ok as I do today without you all who read the blog, and comment on it. I just can't thank you enough for caring.
xoxox, Cashie's Mommy

send your team prayers out

Hi all, We need more Team Cash prayers to be sent out to an old friend who just lost her husband. They were parents of 2 little children,they are a young couple just 4 years married. it was sudden and totally unexpected. Becky will need all your prayers .

I know the power of Team Cash...please say a few prayers for Becky and her girls and her late husband, John. He was a great husband and Dad. he will be missed dearly.
Thank you for your help.
xoxox, Cashie's Mommy

ps. and Cashie Angel, it's your job right now to go to Becky and hug her and let her know we all love her.

Cash's Garden progress update

Page and i and the Mass family in Boston at the Hatch Shell last Friday night for the movies.

Hi, So as I was driving today I thought about how it's been hard to post what is going thru my mind these days on the blog. There are so many factors in us getting pregnant again: so many things I am petrified about and when I hear someone(whom I know is just trying to help by giving their opinion) say: 'just go try again' I am now finding myself defending my utter paralyzing fear. I do not want to have to say good bye to Cashie twice. that's why i am scared and it's a very real fear. We don't have ANYTHING that is 100% sure that our own baby, which we know we can conceive, would not have SMA. No test is 100%. No test. SO we are praying for direction, praying for answers and praying for patience. I know a lot of couples do it, just go out and get pregnant again and hope for the best but Page and I are not most couples and this whole experience has taught me that. We are different, Cash is different, we grieve differently than others: I mean who has a Concert on their kids bday for 700 people. ? Not one of teh couples that were at those support groups we went to last summer.

We met with Holly Anderson from Children's yesterday and talked about the garden progress. Page and I have set a goal to get the plans submitted by our anniversary 8/25. I would love to have the garden installed, or the process started this fall. We will need bodies when that time comes. so we'll let you know.

I know that trusting my heart and pages heart and cashies heart that we will all be back together in body again soon is just the answer. just that simple. I cry less but i still cry. and sometimes it's tears of Joy that i am Cashie's mommy.

I feel so lucky that he chose me. I just can't wait to hold him again.

Miss you beanie,

Cashie Mommy

Butterfly

So, I was telling my awesome crew yesterday about our talk with Spirit Babies man-Walter Machiean. www.spiritbabies.com
About what our options are for Cash coming back to us: whether it's biological, IVF testing, or adoption and then a HUGE yellow butterfly flew right thru us all and hung out for a bit and flew on. I feel blessed by my angel.I know the answer will come when the timing is right. Thanks Cashie!!!!!
Love you,
Cash's Mommy

Facebook

Thanks everyone for signing up to be apart of the Team Cash blog. We are all on the Team and that little angel is just leading the way. it gets emotional for sure, and yes...it can be sad but Cash doesn't want any of us to be sad. he wants us to be Happy...and the blog is a way to share the experience so we don't bottle it up inside. You can post...and celebrate his life and yours.
WELCOME to Team Cash!!!!!
xoxox, Cash's Mommy

Happy 4th

So, I have card on my desk that I read daily. it says:

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage"

Let me be courageous today....
I love you beanie,
Cash's mommy

Cash takes on the Grand Canyon with Andrew

So, our adventure seeking son went down the Grand with our friend andrew Schmidt.Like Father like son. Rock on boys!!!!!

cash's mommy