Hey, it's October. I finally feel like I am coming out of a fog. I am really aware of how Cash is with me ALL the time. I was just practicing guitar and playing with the dogs...thinking...I am feeling OK right now. Cash is safe where he is...Mommy is safe...puppies are safe. We did get a second band for the Benefit Concert. And we meet with Children's this month to talk about the Garden. It feels better, like we are on our way. That this time is for us to heal and really live Cash's Spirit to the fullest.
The big thing I know: Is that Cash chose to leave his SMA body. That is wasn't my fault he left us. I thought it was my fault. I am his mom and I couldn't protect him from that. So, I am working on letting go of that guilt. Do all Mommy's have so much guilt?If so, I would love to hear about Mommy Guilt if anyone cares to share.
Happy Pumpkin Month to my little Pumpkin,