My Son, after a debilitating day on Tuesday , the worst I have had in a long time. i really never left the house....I am getting better. I just went thru all the pictures I have of My Baby boy...and cried and cried and laughed..and said-you are real-and noticed how fast SMA took his body down. He was a squirmy kid at first. I pray for no more SMA in our lives. NO MORE!!!!
I miss my son with the bottomless pit of grief, it never lets up, it is always there and I am always aware the our lives are forever changed because Cash blessed us with his life. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I never will be her again. Yet somewhere in my soul I know that it's going to be OK for Page Cash and I. That we will be together again. That our journey as a family is far from over.
So please keep your prayers up. I know there are a lot of other people who need them, and we pray for those folks too. and the war to end.
Please know that as we approach May 14Th and that will be 1 year since Cashie passed in my arms at Children's that Page and I struggle to get thru each moment of each day...how we go on I do not know except that I know my Son will be back with me. I believe in reincarnation( and I don't know if i did before all of this but how can i not now)and that's what is getting me by right now. So I ask you this, please don't doubt me or call me crazy...because I know what's real. And I know my kid. Just help us to have patience until that day arrives.
All my love , Cashies Mommy
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