Thankful

Hi all, we are heading out for a week with Bri and Brady in St John's. I am THANKFUL this holiday weekend to have all the love and support that is surrounding us. We will miss the fuzzies but they are in great care.
I ran into Robin, my Baby Class teacher today. It was so great to see her and tell her we are ok and have great hope and Love for the future with our Cashie. My magic kid, my Soulful boy.

Please come to see the Railbenders with us on New Years Eve at The Soiled Dove. We went 2 nites ago....holy cow.they ROCK!!!!! Love to you,
Cash's Mommy

concert poster

I am so excited to be a part of this event for Cash. Teri & Page have been helping me to create a poster for his Birthday Concert coming up in January. Here is Cash's very own Alice in Wonderland Garden ... to become a reality at the Children's Hospital.

Sunday nite

Hi, It's 11/18..........Cash's 10 month bday. To celebrate we went skiing at ABasin our first Family ski day in over a year. It was a great way to spend our day, in the Mountains, on snow, with the pups and Cash.where things make more sense. It filled me up with Hope for us, for me , for Cash. That little boy turned me into a Mommy. and now I just can't not be Moms(that's what I call myself these days). I am blessed. Tears and all I am blessed.


It also means the Benefit Concert is just 8 weeks away!
Yikes!We have been getting loads of questions about the Silent Auction:

You can donate whatever feels right to you. Some things that have been already donated:
Artwork
Hand Knit items
Ski Jacket
possibly wine
Gift Certificates
Sports memorabilia

Whatever you want, just make sure you get the Donation for to me so I can send it on to The Children's Hospital Foundation so You can have a reciept for your taxes....

We are grateful today. We are parents today. Cash is with us today.

Please send blessings/prayers and good thoughts out to My Cousin Ellen. Today is not a great day for her......and she's a very special apst of our lives.

Many thanks,
Cash's Mommy

Monday news

Hi all, As I write Cowie(our cat) is perched on my lap....helping me to speak the truth. We have healing to do. I met with a wonderful healer today. I feel like the next chapter in this whole scary, sad, unpredictable process is starting. I feel safe. There are so many things to be grateful for:
My cat:0
the fuzzies who great me with such exuberance when I open the door
My love Page
my tami
my Mom
Annie
Sara
It didn't really rain today but smelled like it when I drove to work-yummy
I am here, I have not gone under, I am not on meds
My sisters
my dad and brother
our home

I am grateful.................



The Tickets are here:
Cash' Garden Benefit Concert TICKETS are available thru Page and myself. They will also be for sale on line at www.theorientaltheater.com

xo
Cash's Mommy

Work To Do

Hi. I'm writing this note so that it's out there in the universe and not just rattling around in my body and spirit. Most people have asked how I am doing and my standard response is that "I'm doing fine". To be completely honest, some day's I am doing fine, but there's a lot of them when I'm really not. I'm trying to figure out what happened, why this has happened to me and my family, I'm trying to pull the pieces together when it feels like everything has fallen apart and I'm trying not to be upset that I'm in this position at all. And the toughest part is that I've got to get this outta me so that I don't feel like a victim and that I got ripped off. Just making it through the day isn't enough. Cash wouldn't be proud of his dad feeling and acting like a victm. So I'm using this forum to put it out to the universe that these are a some of the emotions I've been feeling and I need to walk through them and deal with them so that I can be the absolute best father I can be when he comes back to me, because he is coming back, so I've got some serious work to do.

Thanks to you all out there for your love and support.

Cash's Daddy

Hi

Well, we met with EDAW(Landscape Architechs that are designing The Children's Hospital) and Holly Anderson today about the Garden. To be blunt: it's going to be quite the process but Page and I knew this going into this. it's not like I can drive to the Plant Nursery and buy plants and pop them in the ground......there are lots of meetings, etc that will have to happen to see this thru.
We Will keep you updated as soon as we know more. Hopefully we will have our Fundraising goal soon.....

Personally: I --was having a hard time today, this week...really questioning it all. The whys, the Why us...and then something snapped n me tonight as I was running w/the dogs. I feel like I snapped out of the funk, at least for a while. Hope is back.
You know, I also picked my guitar back up, a little music therapy for my soul. Sometimes I think : will I ever really learn to strum? will I find songs I can play and sing with?
These are the questions I have tonight. not bad for a grieving Mommy. I'll take this over crying a hyperventilating any day!!

Good nite all

Proudly, so proud of my kid, I mean what a friggin' Rock Star to come, be with us, be so damn cute, get to know us even with a terminal disease. I am not sure if I could be that brave. could you?
Cash Rocks!!!!!!!!!
Cash's Mommy

Friendly, Compassionate, Determined

Dear Cash,
I was looking at a cool site called Colorstrology today and here's what it said about you ... Friendly, Compassionate, Determined.
YOUR imagination and dreams help guide you toward your goals. Once you have found them, you must pursue them with persistence, flexibility and ease. It is your love of life and childlike quality that everyone admires and relates to. Your personal color helps you maintain your humility and honor. Wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with Deco Rose helps you feel strong, safe and truly secure yourself.
I think my color is in the Aqua family. I blogged about you today. If you want to read it, you can go here. Looking forward to helping your parents with your Healing Garden Benefit Concert - they are putting a lot of love and energy to it and I am certain it is going to be THE event of 2008.
Love,
Alli

Benefit Concert

Hi, We are forging ahead with Benefit concert plans. The tix will be ordered today or tomorrow. So we will have them for sale soon, also The Oriental Theater will have tix for sale on their website www.theorientaltheater.com

You know, it is hard to get out of bed. Some days I just don't want to face reality that this has happened. and other days i am filled with hope for our future. It's kind of a crap shoot as to which way the day will go.

Page saw a fox this Am .Our pumpkin letting Daddy know it's going to be alright, that there is a plan for all this pain and sadness.

I am hoping for a better day than yesterday. That was a hard one.
Cash's Mommy

tired

You know with all the hoopla of Halloween, it just makes me tired. I find myself exhausted recently...today. Maybe I take on too much, or don't say no enough. Maybe it's that one hard work issue that sapped me of all I had left, maybe it's just plain missing my baby boy. I just read an article in the OCT 2007 Skiing Mag about " The Power to Heal". It was written by a Dad who lost his son and skiing has helped him heal, very slowly. I hope that helps Page and I this Winter . We are so looking forward to it. I cried so hard as I read the short story of this Dad's journey thru the past 3 years. Not for me but for him. It isn't supposed to happen. and it makes us members of this really sad club of parents who have lost a child. and the only people that can even try to understand are those who also have been thru it.
Right now I am trying to just get by.....
Love you my little beanie
cash's mommy