Cash's fox

We saw our Fox again last night at Nana's house in Boulder. He just scooted thru their yard in full view. I just sobbed. I miss my son so much. With this week of his Birth coming up and the concert I know I need to not check out of how I am feeling and just let myself be sad. I am sad that my baby boy is an angel and not here with us on Earth. Yet he is an angel and he shapes my every thought and movement. He always has since we first knew he was coming to be with us. My son has changed me in such deeply profound ways. Please if you see me this week and I am just acting busy with the Benefit concert know that I am sad inside.
We thought we would be taking Cash to The casa for his first birthday , that's what Page wanted. Instead we are throwing a huge party in his honor to build a garden to help other families thru their time at Children's. Not really what we had planned.
I wish children did not get sick.
I miss my son so much. I am scared.
I wish other people besides Page and I would say that they missed Cash too.
I know Fox was letting mommy and daddy know that he is hear with us, every second of everyday and that he misses us just as much as we miss him. Our magic boy.
I love you Cashie. My magic kid. I wish you were in my arms right now so we could snuggle and play.

Cash's Mommy