living in the present

Hi, It's Sunday morning and we are gearing up to go skiing. and it's cold outside today.
I woke up with thoughts of the past, as I often do, or thoughts of the future....what I hope for. Rarely do i Think of the present. That has always been the case with me....I have always been a future thinker....and for right now, for today , I need to take a break from that and be really happy about what I have in my life right now: A loving husband, 2 great and fuzzy dogs , and cat who has been with me longer than anyone else ...and a whole family that loves me and friends that support me. a business that thrives and people to work with who are amazing.
I have the spirit of my little boy to guide me along my way. My Angel , my Cashie.

Thank yo all for helping us to sell tix.
We couldn't do this without you.

love, Cash's Mommy

back in denver

Hi, We are back in town. It's amazing after being gone, having such a great vacation....I realized this AM that it was also a vacation from the familiar surroundings, all the memories, all the stuff that is here at our home. I Just found a huge box of medical supplies in The Nursery that was supposed to be for Cash if we were going to take him home from Children's and do Hospice here. I didn't even know it was here in the house. I just don't want to have that sick energy in our home where we are fighting to heal, fighting to just stay positive . I miss holding my son.
I was in a Class this Am , exercising and had my Team Cash shirt on....I was struggling a bit and the instructor said" do it, you can do it, do it for the baby" and he pointed to my shirt. Now, I don't know this instructor but he got me. I have to do it for Cashie. I have to keep going. I have to be strong. He was with us in St Johns. And as we flew home, the clouds were so beautiful. I said to page" Do you think that's what Cashie sees as he is flying around? All that beauty?"
I think he does. I know he is free. And I know he loves him Mommy.
I know he is here. Cash is here.
Cash's Mommy

Thankful

Hi all, we are heading out for a week with Bri and Brady in St John's. I am THANKFUL this holiday weekend to have all the love and support that is surrounding us. We will miss the fuzzies but they are in great care.
I ran into Robin, my Baby Class teacher today. It was so great to see her and tell her we are ok and have great hope and Love for the future with our Cashie. My magic kid, my Soulful boy.

Please come to see the Railbenders with us on New Years Eve at The Soiled Dove. We went 2 nites ago....holy cow.they ROCK!!!!! Love to you,
Cash's Mommy

concert poster

I am so excited to be a part of this event for Cash. Teri & Page have been helping me to create a poster for his Birthday Concert coming up in January. Here is Cash's very own Alice in Wonderland Garden ... to become a reality at the Children's Hospital.

Sunday nite

Hi, It's 11/18..........Cash's 10 month bday. To celebrate we went skiing at ABasin our first Family ski day in over a year. It was a great way to spend our day, in the Mountains, on snow, with the pups and Cash.where things make more sense. It filled me up with Hope for us, for me , for Cash. That little boy turned me into a Mommy. and now I just can't not be Moms(that's what I call myself these days). I am blessed. Tears and all I am blessed.


It also means the Benefit Concert is just 8 weeks away!
Yikes!We have been getting loads of questions about the Silent Auction:

You can donate whatever feels right to you. Some things that have been already donated:
Artwork
Hand Knit items
Ski Jacket
possibly wine
Gift Certificates
Sports memorabilia

Whatever you want, just make sure you get the Donation for to me so I can send it on to The Children's Hospital Foundation so You can have a reciept for your taxes....

We are grateful today. We are parents today. Cash is with us today.

Please send blessings/prayers and good thoughts out to My Cousin Ellen. Today is not a great day for her......and she's a very special apst of our lives.

Many thanks,
Cash's Mommy

Monday news

Hi all, As I write Cowie(our cat) is perched on my lap....helping me to speak the truth. We have healing to do. I met with a wonderful healer today. I feel like the next chapter in this whole scary, sad, unpredictable process is starting. I feel safe. There are so many things to be grateful for:
My cat:0
the fuzzies who great me with such exuberance when I open the door
My love Page
my tami
my Mom
Annie
Sara
It didn't really rain today but smelled like it when I drove to work-yummy
I am here, I have not gone under, I am not on meds
My sisters
my dad and brother
our home

I am grateful.................



The Tickets are here:
Cash' Garden Benefit Concert TICKETS are available thru Page and myself. They will also be for sale on line at www.theorientaltheater.com

xo
Cash's Mommy

Work To Do

Hi. I'm writing this note so that it's out there in the universe and not just rattling around in my body and spirit. Most people have asked how I am doing and my standard response is that "I'm doing fine". To be completely honest, some day's I am doing fine, but there's a lot of them when I'm really not. I'm trying to figure out what happened, why this has happened to me and my family, I'm trying to pull the pieces together when it feels like everything has fallen apart and I'm trying not to be upset that I'm in this position at all. And the toughest part is that I've got to get this outta me so that I don't feel like a victim and that I got ripped off. Just making it through the day isn't enough. Cash wouldn't be proud of his dad feeling and acting like a victm. So I'm using this forum to put it out to the universe that these are a some of the emotions I've been feeling and I need to walk through them and deal with them so that I can be the absolute best father I can be when he comes back to me, because he is coming back, so I've got some serious work to do.

Thanks to you all out there for your love and support.

Cash's Daddy