bananas

We made it to a Compassionate Friends meeting last night. It was good to be around others who 'get it' even though I didn't want to go...and never wanted to be apart of the group anyways.
But we are and I really have to believe that there will be something good out of all of this sadness. There just has to be. And we want more children...however they come into our family. I know this is a long road that lies ahead.one that will never end. I also know that Page and I are parents and that will never change. We want our little house to be filled with kids...
We are seeking professional help with our grief. Plus exercising and trying to be good to ourselves and each other.
It's funny where I find Cash or when he comes to me throughout the day: today I was working out....and the class was really hard and I was struggling. I just prayed that Cash would get me thru..and the next song that came on was "Hollarback Girl". That's one of the songs we would sing in the hospital with Cash b/c of the line that says"it's bananas B A NA NA S' b/c we thought the whole thing was crazy . plus Cash naned his little duck..bananas.
So as I ramble, please keep blogging, sending those photos and call us.
xo,
cash's mommy