Instead of deciding to pack up the van again and head north we're still here. I don't think either of us had anticipated the shock we would face when coming home. I just can't even descirbe how challenging it is to focus on the day to day stuff and try to keep our heads above water. Treading water with a weight belt might begin to describe the feeling. I could keep going on and on about being tired, and focusing being difficult, and not really having an appetite and blah, blah, blah . . . . .
but I think that the most important thing that happened today is that we woke up, we were horrified to leave the house, and made it outside. Then we made it to work. A very miniscule thing, yes, but never-the-less unbelievably hard to achieve. Even if it was just a few hours it was a step forward and I think Cash would be happy that we are picking ourselves up and making progress. So when it's super super tough to do anything right now I just keep telling myself that I'm doing it to make him proud of me because he was such an incredible fighter while he was here with us. And when I think of how brave he was in the hospital, I become so immensely humbled . . . He would be so pissed off at me if I didn't fight too.
People have been calling to check on us and that's been a wonderful gift. Please keep doing it!!
We need the support.
Spider's new brother Stripe is pretty cool. If you know Spider, just picture his "mini-me" and that's Stripe. He has a super cool soul.
We are working on the memorial garden and a roper spot or foundation or something for donations. Thanks for your patience as soon as we come up with something we will let you know right away.