It's a nite where we don't have a meeting, appointment, or anything else except being together with the dogs and cowie, our Ninja cat. I am amazed daily at the miracles that Cash has brought to us. My advisor from FRCC asking if he can get us a tree in Cash's Honor. I am truly touched by that .The wonderful check out gal at Whole Foods who gave us free truffles....just because I asked if they were good. My awesome manager, Heather , who works so hard for Gardening By Tess and lets me talk about Cash and cry whenever I need to. THANK YOU!!!!My amazing family and in laws for all the calls this week to just check in and talk to me. It all helps keep my head above water.Our dear friends Marne and Paul for taking us to the Movies at Red Rocks to see The Beloved Invaders, the surf band that played at our wedding 6 years ago. I danced and laughed and felt good for a nite. I am so grateful.
We are finding more resources, more people who have been thru something like this for us to meet. We are getting more and more into life. Running has helped me beyond any therapy right now. Or is running therapy? I wear Cash's shirt while I run and go to the gym....I bet my fellow gym goers think I smell b/c I am always in the same shirt....they don't know I have 10 Cash Tshirts. Cash is what gets me out of bed each day even when I don't want to. Cash is what gets me to work, making phone calls and helping out clients. Cash is what keeps me honest about everything. I miss my son so very much it tears me apart but I know that hiding from all the pain will make it worse. So thru all my tears I drive around to job sites, nurseries , the gym, and Starbucks.crying in my truck. God bless me and God Bless us all that Cash is such a powerful force...a true HERO for me. My little man, my fighter. I miss him so very much.
I keep seeing these big beautiful butterflies everywhere I go. Cash was part of the Butterfly Program at Children's Hospital and we read him"Hope For The Flowers ' a few hours before he passed. It's a great story about 2 caterpillars becoming butterflies and one is named Stripe. Which is what Cash's Puppy's name is.
I believe Cash was with me today.
xoxo, Cash's Mommy